We bought the most amazing Princess cake for Lily’s birthday.
It really was a work of art.
01 January 2009

I’m trying to not let the blog go dead again, so please bear with me while I write semi-uninteresting posts for awhile until I get my groove back.

Random weird blog fact: As I’ve mentioned before, I have maybe 15 people who read my blog, all family and friends. That is a tiny blog especially compared to the blogs out there that have thousands of followers. So here’s the weird fact about my miniscule blog:

To date, there are:
2682 comments
49 are legitimate
2633 are spam.

Isn’t that crazy?! Can you imagine how many spam comments the large blogs must get? I had to put a little filter on my blog. The big blogs must use fire-proof, teflon-covered spam filters.

The kids played outside in the leaves on Christmas day.
25 December 2008

Never let it be said that I don’t listen to my father-in-law. As requested in the last comment, more photos of the children. 🙂

And yes, even with the economic recession, there is definitely a feeling of hope among Americans with the election of our new president. I hope he is everything he seems to be.

My dear friend, Shelrie, was married to her love on Halloween on a pirate ship.
One day I will be as awesome as her.
31 October 2008

Before I begin, I must send out a heartfelt thank you to my father-in-law and brother-in-law. They both noticed that the blog was not being updated, and they phoned to make sure that myself and the family were doing fine. Simple phone calls like that are often the most treasured thing in the day.

Things have been really difficult lately. I won’t go into the details because 1) they are boring, and 2) we all deal with difficulties in our life, although the difficulties vary from person to person. All of us feel weariness, isolation, and sadness sometimes.

So, I’ve been doing what I always do when I’m overwhelmed and sad: creating lists and writing. But this time, I combined the two. I combined my love of schoolwork, office supplies, formatting, lists, and writing.

I began writing a workbook for myself. And it’s been a lot of fun. I should have wrote a life workbook for myself a long time ago. 🙂

Here is the link to the beginning of my first-ever workbook.

Wide-angle fun with big blue eyes. 🙂
30 October 2008

I’ve been struggling lately. Struggling with doubt and self-deprecation. Trying to balance familial duty with spontaneous creativity. Feeling a caged wild longing within myself, but having no idea how to set it free to dance and play. Feeling blind with wide-open eyes.

So I went to the sources which inspire me. Andrea Scher always seems to guide me home. Her words and photos shine light into the darkness of my often confusing world. It was her photographs of everyday beauty which inspired me to get back into photography.

Suburban Kamikaze makes me laugh at myself and my funny little family. Her humor can always brighten a gloomy day.

And Pilar Gerasimo, Editor in Chief of Experience Life Magazine, seemed to speak to me personally in her “Thoughts from the Editor” column this month. In fact, let me quote some of her column:

This, I realize, is one of the great lessons I have learned in the course of seven years editing this magazine: It is possible to shift your life, your circumstances, your self — simply by being willing to shift your thinking and attention, and then just doing the simple little things you can, even if your rational brain says they will never be enough.

Years ago, I was given a great piece of advice: In times of high anxiety and frustration, before desperately grasping for solutions not yet within your reach, focus on fully applying the solutions you already have at your disposal.

This often means doing the most mundane sort of inventory: Are you eating well, drinking enough water, getting daily exercise and sunshine? Are you spending time relaxing and enjoying time with your loved ones? Are you challenging your negative thoughts and beliefs, and taking small, daily, positive actions? Are you following the advice you’d give to someone else in this situation? And — ahem — are you getting enough sleep?

So often, when our problems seem unsolvable or our lives feel out of control, it turns out we aren’t doing the most essential things already within our grasp. In fact, we’re hardly breathing.

We put together this “Reflect and Revive” issue as an encouraging nudge, a reminder to do what you can to take care of yourself now — and to leave at least some of your worries behind.

It’s time for a system reboot. I got lost somewhere in the inky black darkness of the modern world. We desire so much that we can’t even see what we already have. The beauty of a green world, the love of family and friends, our own creativity. These things get lost in the pursuit of a large house in an outstanding school district with a white picket fence surrounding the perfect plastic garden.

I feel much better now after turning to some of the inspiring women who share their life’s journey with us.  I’ll end this blog entry with one of my favorite quotes:

Have you laughed today? Your children have. You should too.
     — Don Wetmore

Last Friday, we went with the Q’s to the Fall Festival
at Logan’s elementary school.
24 October 2008

In all their super-cuteness, Lily is Jasmine,
Clara is a pumpkin, and Logan is a clone trooper.
(That would be clone trooper, by the way. I was
corrected in a very severe manner when
I mistakenly called him a storm trooper.)

Daddies at the Festival.

Capt Hook fast asleep.

Babies!

Capt Hook awake and with a pacie.

Jasmine with a tiny animate pumpkin.

Lily got a mermaid painted on her arm.

Damian really liked being in the bouncy house with the big kids.

In the bouncy house.

Destiny and Lily are two kitty-cat princesses.

Logan with his scorpion and Lily with her kitty face.

Really, not a lot to blog about. I’ve been a bit “angsty” lately, but I don’t know if I should do another angst-filled post. So, not a lot to say, except: Gene, will you please start updating your blog regularly?! For pete’s sake, how are we supposed to stalk you keep up with your life? Geez. Some people. Oh, and happy birthday. 😉

Lily posing for the camera.
12 September 2008

I’ve been reading a lot about the credit crisis, trying to understand what happened and what is going on now. The current economic situation and its history are very convoluted and not easy for the layman to understand. I found two excellent radio shows produced by This American Life in conjunction with NPR. They are each an hour long, but very much worth the time:

The Giant Pool of Money aired on May 9, 2008.
And Another Frightening Show About the Economy aired on October 3, 2008.

Both of these shows are very very good. Really, take the time and listen.

This morning, Matt asked for a brief summary on what the shows were about and what else I had learned while surfing on our economic disaster last night. While talking to him, I kept using charged words that implied criminal intent, such as “they laundered the tranches of mortgage backed securities into a AAA rating by bundling good mortgage loans with bad mortgage loans” and “the credit default swap scam.” I told Matt that the words “scam” and “laundered” were my terms, and he said, “You should write a blog entry using your terms.” That, coupled with Sam saying, “Hey! Post more pictures!” has me here, writing this entry. 🙂

Adam Davidson and Alex Blumberg, though they didn’t use the word “laundered,” did say that bundling good mortgages with “toxic” mortgages was “a sort of financial alchemy.”

Jim takes that toxic stuff, these low-rated, high-risk tranches, puts them all together [with high-rated, low-risk tranches]. Re-tranches them, and presto: he has a CDO whose top tranche is rated AAA, rock-solid, good as money.

Personally, I prefer the word “laundered” because I find it much more accurate.

As for the unregulated credit default swap scam, I swear it reminds me of a pyramid scheme. At the top, you have the original bank that decided to insure bonds without the requisite capital, and then everybody piled on for the easy money.

However, I will admit that my knowledge on this subject is very limited; I had never even heard of credit default swaps (or CDOs for that matter) before this all went south. Listen to the two radio shows I linked. That’s where my information came from. And then decide for yourself if the words “laundered” and “scam” work well.

Lily playing in the sprinklers.
30 November 2008

It’s been a long time since I’ve fallen in love with someone over the internet. The internet is covered with amazing personal pages, each site filled with that person’s passion and photos and thoughts. When I surf for an image or an idea, I always stumble onto personal pages and see a little glimpse into a stranger’s life. I think it’s wonderful. Sure, it’s an anonymous way to connect, but it is still connection. And I love seeing a person’s passion — whatever it is that makes them shine — and personal pages are always full of passion.

However, I have not fallen in anonymous love with an internet stranger since Jamie Zawinski back in late 90s. I idolized him from afar. And then I met Matt and well, random thoughts of Jamie fell to the wayside along with all of my random thoughts of Bill Hicks and David Duchovny/Fox Mulder. My mind was consumed with my new — real life — hunk of burnin’ love.

But today, while surfing for images of Asajj Ventress (who is way hotter than Angelina Jolie in the “bad girl” category, by the way), I ran across the webpage of Kim Dylla. I first stumbled upon her fashion page. I thought, “These are cool,” but it wasn’t until I saw her “Chainmail Top and Belt” picture that I went “Wow! Who is this person?!” and surfed her site. I thought her wide-angle Stockings drawings were from an unusual perspective and very nice. By the time I read her one-panel cartoon, I was in full idol mode.

Sure, I’m 40-years-old. Sure, I’m a stay-at-home mom who lives in the suburbs with two preschool kids and everyday is filled with Thomas the Tank Engine and peanut butter and jelly. Sure, we have absolutely nothing in common and maybe I should have Hillary Clinton or my mom as my hero instead. But anybody who can — in such a beautiful and artistic way — stand out from the pack and follow her own passion… well, how can one not fall in anonymous love with her?

A few weeks ago, Justin and Shelrie spent the day with us.
Between the company and the weather, it was a really pleasant day.
07 September 2008

I have often questioned my choice of being so open with my personal information on my blog. Two of my friends, who I shall use by their online aliases as they both tend to protect their online privacy, grieve and eds3, never use their real names nor do they use the real names of their family and friends. Grieve also does not post any personal photos.

Of course, I have considered the question of privacy and open online communication many times, and I have never come up with a satisfactory answer. I have chosen to not let fear make my choices, as I truly enjoy this digital age of mass and personal communication. I’ve never met Andrea Scher or Surburban Kamikaze, but I find their blogs both inspirational and entertaining. I use my blog to communicate with my family and friends, to play with the art of writing, and, perhaps, there is a stranger or two out there who carries something positive away from my blog. So I have continued to be open online.

Now, let’s get to The Incident. Recently, a fellow has been calling my cell phone. He left several messages asking for Amanda, and I finally answered and said there was no Amanda here. He then made an offer of sex.  I said, no, good luck finding your friend, and hung up. I thought that was the end of it. Then, yesterday, he called again, this time for me, not Amanda, and left a very crude message with a disturbing and aggressive offer of sex. I forwarded the message to Matt, and, after listening to it, he said, “I’m calling the police.” Since I leave my entire name on my voicemail, he had my name and my cell phone number. That’s what was most upsetting to me.  With a person’s name and their city, you can look up a ton of information about them. Don’t believe me? If you live in the Austin area, go look up your house information online using only your name.

When I called T-Mobile to have my cell phone number changed, I told the T-Mobile lady, “I just want to get off this guy’s radar.”  The whole experience was scary, and it still is scary because it only happened yesterday.  I don’t know if I’m off this guy’s radar yet.

I already have a problem with fear. I’m so afraid of violent crimes in our modern society. But I don’t want to live a life in fear. But how do you do that? Not only does the media thrive on fear, but most of the people around us — our family and friends — also live in fear, and we all help perpetuate and feed our society’s communal fear.

Currently, I still stand by my decision to live and express myself openly online. I still stand by my decision to not let fear destroy something that I enjoy so much.

Damian, Lily and Ariel in the little pool.
13 September 2008

My brother Ben has been staying with us for the past few days, and this is a conversation from this morning when he walked into the living room to find Damian watching Yanni.

Ben (incredulously): You’re teaching your kids to watch Yanni?

Me (defensively): We like Yanni.

Ben (righteously): C’mon, Angel.  Yanni is the guy who the little old blue-haired ladies go to see in Vegas when they want to see a rock show.

Though a very funny comment, we shall continue to unapologetically watch Yanni.

Damian and Lily having a tea party. In this picture, Lily and Damian
are singing happy birthday to Gabriella (Lily’s doll sitting in her lap).
13 September 2008

Then Mommy served pumpkin bread for the birthday party.

Mmmm… everybody loves pumpkin bread.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any cuter…

Male toddlers are obviously much more secure in their masculinity
than many grown men.

What are big sisters for if not to get you to have a tea party with a hot
pink Disney Princess tea set while Mom photographs the entire event?

Always the cute one…

“Where the heck have you been?” asks my dedicated reader.  “No cute pictures of the children.  No witty insight distilling the human experience down into a three-paragraph blog entry.  No cute pictures of the children.”

Well, to give you an example of how difficult it is to write a blog entry, I have had seven — that would be seven — interruptions from children while writing this entry and one phone call from my amazing and thoroughly-adored husband.  As I have mentioned before, when you have preschool children, writing a blog entry becomes an act of will.

I feel like I should do an update on Hurricane Ike as it just went through Texas and displaced many Houstonians (Shelly and Cody are at Carla’s house, Ben is staying at our house, and Dad and Donna are staying with Steven). There were two waves of people leaving Houston.  The first wave were all the people from the mandatory evacuation areas, like Shelly, Ben and Cody who all live in La Porte, and that exodus took place before the storm.  Ben drove to Dad’s house in Conroe.  The second wave was after the storm when Houston and the surrounding areas became uninhabitable. That’s when Dad, Donna and Ben left Conroe and headed for Austin.

It’s a mess down there.  Dad, Donna and Ben are salaried, so they are being paid even though they are not at work.  Shelly, however, and many like her, are hourly paid employees, and while Houston is out of commission, they have no income coming in.  Shelly is very stressed out.  Luckily, she has family to lean on, and she has filed with FEMA.

It’s weird, uncomfortable, and sad to have front-row seats to human tragedy. Being in Austin, I feel guilty going through my daily activities — cleaning, watering the lawn, watching the children laugh and play — while there is mass suffering 300 miles down the road.  The only thing that assauges the guilt is that we have family who are involved, and I know that we will help them as they need help. By helping in this small way, I don’t feel like I am a passive onlooker.