Daddy with the kids at Surfside Beach, Texas

19 April 2008

20 April 2008

I’ve been absent for several reasons: my mom came to visit, and then Justin came to visit, and I have been working on RomancePodcast.com… finally.  Go check it out: RomancePodcast.com.

My hunk of burnin’ love helped me with the CSS.  I have been resisting CSS for years and finally caved because of need, and it turns out that CSS is very cool.  I like it a lot.  I can’t believe I resisted it for so long.

Anyways, Carla and I have launched our third business venture together. :)  I like being a small business owner.  It’s fun!  I guess it’s easy to say that because Matt is the bread-winner and my small business is my hobby.

Lily with (from left to right) Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine, Aurora, Jasmine (again),
Belle, and Snow White. Mattel’s marketing department is a bunch of 4-year-olds
playing with construction paper and crayons compared to Disney’s princess
marketing onslaught. I have bought a Barbie doll (The Angel of Peace Barbie
for my desk), but Lily has no idea who Barbie is.
06 March 2008

I’m ready to podcast… in fact, I’ve been ready to podcast for awhile.  But I can’t seem to find the time.  The cleaning, the cooking, the children, paying the bills, the laundry, the shopping… my time disappears into the daily routine of household chores.

Have you ever heard folks say that they don’t like to work from home — that they prefer to go to an office — because when they work from home they feel like they are never off from work?  They find that they constantly work.

Well, what is a housewife to do then?  The house is our work.  How does a housewife delineate work-time from play-time when the two are so intimately entertwined with one another?

I’m complaining again.  Sorry.  I’ve just been wanting to play with my websites for the past week and have not because of household chores.  So here it comes out on the blog. 🙂

The baby and I snuggled together
on a chilly October morning.
31 October 2007

Since English seems to be the new… well… English, I’ve been experimenting with accents.  Here is a sample (you have to click the play button twice):

I keep writing snippets of non-existent novels and playing with voices.

Now, here’s the bizarre thing: I realize that I will be dead in an extremely short time in the grand scheme of things.  The memory of my existence and all I did will become nothing within the enormity of time and space.  And yet, even with this knowledge, I am still hesitant to create anything.  I am still filled with fear that I will seem ridiculous… you know, as one deserving ridicule.

One of my favorite sayings comes from Virgil, the wise chicken in Mighty Max.  Max learns that Norman, his protector, is afraid of spiders, and is completely surprised because Norman has never shown fear of anything.  Max says to Virgil, “I always thought Norman was so brave.”  And Virgil replies, “Bravery is not lack of fear; it is acting in spite of fear.”

Creativity is not lack of fear; it is creating in spite of fear.

Damian loves water.
He has loved water from the first moment we put him in his first bathie.
03 September 2007

I am very picky about my romance stories.  That’s why, a looooong time ago when I was only a teenager, I decided to write romance stories; I could never find a decent romance because I don’t like the Harlequin-style romances nor the bodice rippers (apparently, that term is offensive in the romance market now, but the official term is “historical single-title”; boy, is that a mouthful).

Anyways, so I decided to write my own romances with characters I like and stories that I find interesting.  That proved to be much harder than I anticipated, but it has been an interesting and fun journey just the same.

Recently, I watched Howl’s Moving Castle by the legendary and inimitable Hayao Miyazaki.  It was a great romance story.  So I’ve decided to make a recommend list of romance movies in case someone out there is in the mood for a good romance but can only find the formulaic, insipid romantic comedy shite that is churned out year after year by Hollywood.

Some good romantic movies:

• Howl’s Moving Castle
  • Watch it in English.  It’s a very unusual story which makes it very difficult to follow while reading subtitles.
• You’ve Got Mail
  • And, to answer the question that always comes up, No, I don’t like Sleepless in Seattle nearly as much.
• The Secretary
  • Big Warning: This is a movie about a submissive and a dominant who find love even though they are considered deviant by accepted societal standards.  There are explicit sex scenes, so if you don’t like movies that involve fringe sexual subculture or that have explicit sex scenes, do not watch this one.
• The BBC Pride and Prejudice miniseries
  • No romance list would be complete without this one.  And though I also love Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson, that is more a story of love between two sisters.  The men really are only supporting characters in that one.
• The first four episodes of His and Her Circumstances
  • The rest of the series is not nearly as heart-throbbing as the first four episodes, and the ending has no resolution — it is Hideaki Anno after all — so just stop after the first four episodes.
• The Wedding Singer
  • I know many don’t think much of this movie, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
• And, in honor of my romantic husband, The Cutting Edge
  • I saw this once a long time ago with Matt.  Matt loves this movie and regularly re-watches it.  He has, apparently, loved this movie since he was a teenager, and his family tease him over it. 🙂

Well, that’s all I can think of now, but that’s a good list to start with. 🙂

Lindsey, me, Kelsey, Justy, and Bruce at Seaworld

Justy, me, Lindsey, and Kelsey in San Antonio

Still no new piccies, so more peaks into the past.
Both of these pictures are with the cousins and from at least a decade ago.
Awhile back, I saw a photo spread in a magazine where supermodels picked
their favorite picture of themselves. Cindy Crawford has had amazing beautiful
pictures taken of her, and yet she chose a picture that was just a normal
snapshot; it was not taken by highly paid photographer, and she wasn’t made up
by a professional make-up artist or clothed in designer clothing. It was just
a snapshot of her and Richard Gere laughing together. And she had written,
“This is exactly where I wanted to be and exactly who I wanted to be with.”
That sums up all our personal favorite photos, doesn’t it? The ones that spark
happy memories and remind us of people we cherish.

I tidied the house yesterday.  It looks very nice.  This doesn’t sound significant, and yet it carries much more weight than it seems.  In all marriages, there is division of labor.  Each person has to pull their weight in the labor that comes with the upkeep of living.

My responsibilities during the weekdays in order of priority: 1) watch and nurture the children; 2) run the household (keep the house clean, pay the bills).  Matt is our sugar-daddy.  His responsibility during the weekdays, all silliness aside, is bringing the money into the house that pays for the food and the bills, etc.

These duties aren’t set in stone.  They change as our situation changes, but this is the way we have our shared life duties divided at the moment.

When I’ve taken care of all my duties, I’m into freetime!  This is when I get to work on my hobbies.  If the house is clean and the children are asleep, hobby time!  And my new current favorite hobby?  Romance podcasts!  Heh heh, I finally get to start working on my idea. 🙂

And finally, a little bloggy shout-out to Shelrie.  Thanks for visiting.  It was really nice seeing you.  And for any who read this blog and are wondering what she’s like these days, she’s still the free spirit she always was. :)  She just got dreadlocks, is starting Texas State next week to get her doctorate, is deeply in love, and does aerial silks as a hobby (she’s very fit — much more fit than most people I know).

Aunt Deb made Lily some new earrings and a new necklace.
Deb gave her these on 11 June 2007, and Lily hasn’t
taken the earrings off yet. They are her new favorite pair.
11 June 2007

And a picture of Aunt Deb covered in kids.
11 June 2007

So I registered romancepodcast.com.  There is nothing there at the moment; it is “parked.”  (What a funny term.)  I can’t believe it was available.  It seems like that one would have been snapped up pretty quickly as podcasting became more and more popular.  Well… I guess it has been snapped up now.

I don’t have the time to work on my current pet project at the moment.  My mom arrives in nine days, and the house is still in no fit state for a royal visit.  And we’re leaving on vacation ourselves two days after my mom arrives, and the house is in no fit state for us to leave for an extended period of time.  So we’re very house-centric right now.  Cleaning, laundering, building raised beds, packing baby stuff up to pass onto Carla.  Busy busy busy.

So I’ll play with romancepodcast.com when we return.  I’m really looking forward to it.  I’m itching and itching to begin!  It’ll just have to wait a little longer…

Deb, Lily and I on the jet skis.
16 June 2007

I was surfing cafe press this evening — looking at the neat things that people have created — and I became exasperated with my own timidness. I’m done with being creatively timid. What a waste of time.

I like creating — writing, drawing, sewing, beading — I like creating a lot.

I like creating a lot.

Lily making lunch for her horses and her yellow dog.
29 May 2007

So I played around with my microphone yesterday and recorded a bit of my work.  And, let me tell you, I felt goofy.  I felt ridiculous.

So I have to push through this feeling.  I have to just hope that the end product is something enjoyable, something worthy.  Of course, I think that all creative projects are worthy, no matter the final quality.  Just the fact that someone is creating and living gives it worth.

But let’s not get sidetracked in feel-good philosophy, shall we?  Let’s stay focused on the fact that I felt goofy.  In fact, when I just playback the clip and listen to myself, the overwhelming feeling of goofiness washes over me again.

Maybe it’s my feel-good philosophy that will help me get past this bump in the road.  Maybe it is only by realizing the intrinsic value of all creative work that I will be able to actually see this idea through to completion.

This seems like a very good spot for a quote from the inimitable Andrea Scher:

“The first few years were difficult financially and there were times when I felt really lonely and afraid. Every day I had to recommit to my work and my dream. It was tempting to give in to the voices that said, “This is NEVER going to work! Are you crazy?” I felt like quitting a lot of the time… Looking back, I SO honor myself and the courage I had at that time to keep going in the face of very little money and success. It is one of the things I am most proud of.” [The emphasis is mine.]

Now that I have created a test mp3, the next step is to understand RSS.  Here’s the test I created yesterday (you have to click the play button twice):

Another cute sequence of photos —
this time of Daddy and the kiddos
playing on the bed.
19 May 2007

Yesterday evening I read up on how to create a podcast. It turns out, it’s ridiculously easy. So now I just need to write and create.

Fun fun fun. I love to make things. Fun fun fun. 🙂

Lily being her normal fabulous self.
08 April 2007

Have you ever had an idea that demands attention?  An idea that keeps nudging you and pestering you?  An idea that desperately wants to be released into the world to begin its own life?

That’s what has been going on for the past week or so with me.  The idea of creating a podcast of romance stories has been constantly in my head, constantly reminding me.

I want to do it soon.  I can contain desires for only so long.  Sewing, writing, creating a podcast –  feeling creation.  Creating is cathartic and fun.  And I miss it… very much.

Somehow I have to create a podcast of romance stories and sew and raise two small children and keep a house.  Not an easy task, and certainly not one that I have figured out how to accomplish yet.  But I have hope.  I always have hope.