It’s not much, but I added a bit:

Austin
Volume 1 con’t

I wandered slowly through Whole Foods musing over my strange encounter. I had a clear picture in my mind of the coming evening: while the New Age cutie was meditating in front of his new soy candle, I would be Googling “otherkin”… and perhaps “football offside trap” to be better prepared for the next World Cup. Brits are so sexy, don’t you think? Well, when they’re not serving you leek or black pudding. And a woman who understands the football offside trap gets her Brit every time.

With pleasant dreams of Brits in my head (I had completely forgotten of Otherkin by this point due to my Paxil-induced ADD), I headed to the cashiers. Several studies had statistically shown that it is possible, but highly improbable, that one could get out of Whole Foods for less than fifty dollars. The blue-haired cashier looked at me through her rhinestone-studded catseye glasses and said, “Your total is $62.53.” Me and my six items had become another data point. It’s nice to be a millennium hippy if you can afford it.

I walked out of Whole Foods as dusk was falling and the temperature was cooling off into the upper nineties. I walked over to my hybrid lime-green Vespa. Since I was parked in the “Small Car Only” spaces, my little Vespa was squeezed between a Mini Cooper and a Ford Explorer. With deft maneuvering, I managed to back out and head on my way.

Austinites, as a general rule, are quite friendly and very courteous, but become psychotic, narrow-minded, selfish morons as soon as they get behind the wheel of a car. This is very disconcerting for the casual visitor to Austin.

The Austin driving experience was once a gentle one, but with the influx of the high tech companies, higher salaries, and Californians, the roads became over-crowded and much like open hunting season with no license restrictions. Austin drivers can now hold their own while visiting Houston. This may sound like a compliment, but, trust me, it’s not.

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That’s all I have for now. 🙂