This is how Austin chic we used to be:
Matt and I took our niece, nephew, and younger cousins to see the
midnight showing of Red vs Blue at the downtown Alamo Drafthouse,
and the creators of Red vs Blue were there as well for a Q&A afterwards.
Given that they were all teenagers, they enjoyed the cuss words in a
wonderfully new and innocent way. As adults, cuss words become
saturated and worn — they are no longer cool as we realize that they
actually impede communication. But it was fun listening to the kids play
with them and enjoy the fun and “cool factor” of them. But we did tell them
they had to clean up their language (they especially loved “f*cktard”),
or their parents would not allow them to come out with us again.

This is a photo of the teenagers with the creators of Red vs Blue
outside the Alamo Drafthouse around 2am on 22 July 2004.

(Now, we live in the suburbs and have only vague memories and old photos
of when we used to be hip. Maybe one day, after I manage to lose
the middle-age weight and buy clothes that don’t accentuate my matronly
role, I’ll be hip again… maybe…)

I haven’t written in a very long time — a very long time — and I feel so rusty. I imagine it’s similar to a musician who hasn’t played her instrument in over a year. My craftsmanship is weak: my timing is off and I’m out of tune. These three sentences took five minutes to write since I had to work and rework the words and the cadence.

With practice, art and ideas flow. With neglect and disuse, the mind becomes fuzzy and unfocused. Ideas and art are no longer spontaneous. And that spontaneity, that inspiration has an almost magical or divine sensation to it. When you let your talent atrophy, though you still have inspiration, it’s not nearly as powerful. It’s like you’re not resonating with the universe anymore. You have to plug yourself back in.

I know that some folks don’t have the same spiritual views as me, and I totally understand and respect that. Of course, this blog is from my point of view, and writing, for me right now, feels very discordant, a cacophony in my head with no focus or theme. Writing is not easy right now. The ideas and words, the art of writing that I enjoy so much is all scattered around in my head. And because I have the spiritual views that I do, I attribute this feeling of discordance not only to disuse and letting my skills get rusty, but also to a muffled connection with the universe. I’ve been unplugged for a year.

But I know that not all folks feel that way. I understand that we all have a personal place inside of us from which we create. And we all have a different way of creating. This is just how I do it. I realize that others’ experiences may be very different from mine.

It will take time to get back into the flow of writing. But I’m really looking forward to it. As much as I enjoyed Warcraft and quit with great reluctance and, at first, slight bitterness, I’m glad things worked out the way they did. I’m excited and eager to be back with my first and true love: writing.