{"id":204,"date":"2008-05-26T00:28:05","date_gmt":"2008-05-26T05:28:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/angel\/blog\/?p=204"},"modified":"2008-06-03T13:04:18","modified_gmt":"2008-06-03T18:04:18","slug":"no-joy-man-no-joy-fail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/?p=204","title":{"rendered":"No joy, man.  No joy.  Fail."},"content":{"rendered":"<p id=\"photo_h\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/photos\/2008\/05\/Lani_25May2008.jpg\" alt=\"\" \/><br \/>\nThis would be Lani cooling off <em>in the mud.<\/em><br \/>\n25 May 2008<\/p>\n<p>I love to write.\u00c2\u00a0 I love to surprise people with a clever twist of words or an insightful, wry truth.\u00c2\u00a0 I love to\u00c2\u00a0strip a situation\u00c2\u00a0or a personality\u00c2\u00a0down to its basic elements\u00c2\u00a0through poetic or dry narrative.<\/p>\n<p>It makes me happy.\u00c2\u00a0 It makes me feel connected.\u00c2\u00a0 It makes me feel unique and\u00c2\u00a0gives me\u00c2\u00a0a sense of purpose on this planet of six billion people.<\/p>\n<p>But it&#8217;s terrifying.<\/p>\n<p>When I put my\u00c2\u00a0stories out onto the internet for anyone to see, I feel naked and vulnerable.\u00c2\u00a0 I freeze &#8212; literally freeze &#8212; like a deer caught in the headlights.\u00c2\u00a0 There were no posts to the blog for two weeks because I <em>couldn&#8217;t<\/em> write.\u00c2\u00a0 I put up RomancePodcast.com,\u00c2\u00a0my personal\u00c2\u00a0showcase for my stories, and I completely froze up.\u00c2\u00a0 I couldn&#8217;t even write a blog entry.\u00c2\u00a0 All the joy disappeared into the blinding fear of vulnerability.<\/p>\n<p>I love to write, but writing &#8212; or any creative endeavor that comes from the soul &#8212; requires\u00c2\u00a0you to let others see into\u00c2\u00a0your soul.\u00c2\u00a0 I&#8217;ve spent my whole life guarding\u00c2\u00a0myself, protecting myself from harm, as we all do.\u00c2\u00a0 But if I want to write something that is true and meaningful, I have to let others see the naked me&#8230; and to not only see the naked me, but to scoff at the naked me.<\/p>\n<p>And that&#8217;s terrifying.\u00c2\u00a0\u00c2\u00a0To willingly step out\u00c2\u00a0naked in public &#8212; that&#8217;s no easy accomplishment and one that I have not yet\u00c2\u00a0managed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This would be Lani cooling off in the mud. 25 May 2008 I love to write.\u00c2\u00a0 I love to surprise people with a clever twist of words or an insightful, wry truth.\u00c2\u00a0 I love to\u00c2\u00a0strip a situation\u00c2\u00a0or a personality\u00c2\u00a0down to its basic elements\u00c2\u00a0through poetic or dry narrative. It makes me happy.\u00c2\u00a0 It makes me feel [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-podcast"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=204"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=204"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=204"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=204"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}