{"id":45,"date":"2006-11-15T23:25:41","date_gmt":"2006-11-16T05:25:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/angel\/blog\/?p=45"},"modified":"2006-12-31T17:08:19","modified_gmt":"2006-12-31T23:08:19","slug":"solidarity-vs-lack-of-willpower","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/?p=45","title":{"rendered":"Solidarity vs Lack of willpower"},"content":{"rendered":"

\nThe first night Lily slept in her new toddler bed.
\n01\u00c2\u00a0October 2006<\/div>\n

Today was supposed to be about solidarity.\u00c2\u00a0 Today was supposed to be the day that Lily and I gave up our addictions together.\u00c2\u00a0 I was going to be there for her; I was going to go through the pain, the withdrawal and the almost unbearable\u00c2\u00a0cravings as she went through\u00c2\u00a0them.\u00c2\u00a0 She is giving up the breast (or “bapu” as she calls it) and I am giving up sugar.<\/p>\n

She went the whole day with no bapu.\u00c2\u00a0 She usually nurses three times a day: once as she goes to sleep for her nap, once when she wakes up from her nap, and finally when she goes to sleep for the night.\u00c2\u00a0 Today she had no bapu at all.<\/p>\n

And I know it wasn’t easy for her.\u00c2\u00a0 I know this because we also went grocery shopping today and I had to pass by the pastry section not once, but twice!\u00c2\u00a0 I forgot apples and had to pass by the pastry section a second time to go back for them.\u00c2\u00a0 The desire — the craving — it’s palpable.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s as real as a freezing cold solid steel wall that you feel backed up against, cornered like a starving animal.<\/p>\n

But I resisted!\u00c2\u00a0 I resisted for my baby.\u00c2\u00a0 We were going through withdrawal of our addiction together, man!<\/p>\n

But then I passed by a center aisle display for HEB Chips Galore cookies for which I had a coupon to get a free pack.\u00c2\u00a0 Did I resist?\u00c2\u00a0 No. :(\u00c2\u00a0 I cheerfully pointed them out to Matt and said, “I have a coupon for a free package of these.”\u00c2\u00a0 And in they went into the cart.<\/p>\n

Did I resist them at home?\u00c2\u00a0 No.\u00c2\u00a0 Matt, Lily and I ate more than half the package of those cookies.<\/p>\n

I caved into my addiction.\u00c2\u00a0 Lily had no bapu, but I ate sugar like the heroin addict that I am.<\/p>\n

Truth is, it does make me sad.\u00c2\u00a0 I really did want to go through this with Lily.\u00c2\u00a0 I know how hard it is for her to give up the bapu.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s her comfort.\u00c2\u00a0 We snuggle together and I stroke her head and back while she nurses; it’s a very peaceful and loving act that we share.\u00c2\u00a0 But now it’s time for her to be weaned, and it’s really hard for her.\u00c2\u00a0 And I want to go through this with her.<\/p>\n

I will<\/em> do it with her.\u00c2\u00a0 I will<\/em> give up my addiction as she gives up hers.\u00c2\u00a0 I do want to do this with my baby and have a deeper understanding how hard it is for her.\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t want her to go through the pain alone.<\/p>\n

Solidarity can and will\u00c2\u00a0win over lack of willpower.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The first night Lily slept in her new toddler bed. 01\u00c2\u00a0October 2006 Today was supposed to be about solidarity.\u00c2\u00a0 Today was supposed to be the day that Lily and I gave up our addictions together.\u00c2\u00a0 I was going to be there for her; I was going to go through the pain, the withdrawal and the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=45"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angelsdesk.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=45"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}