Daddy and Lily sleeping in on Labor Day (this picture was taken at 9:40am)
04 September 2006

I love Labor Day.  There is something really pleasant about sleeping in on what would normally be a work day.

Matt, Lily and I have been having a decadent weekend.  Our weekend has been full of video games, eating out, and hobbies.  We’ve abused caffeine and stayed up every night until midnight and slept in every morning.  It’s been wonderful.

But the house is a wreck — a grade-A, first-class wreck — because we’ve spent all of our time doing fun stuff and completely ignored the cleaning.  I want to take an hour or two tonight and clean it as our decadent Labor Day weekend draws to a close.

I forgot to mention that I have given up sugar again.  Yesterday was Day #1 with no sugar.  So today is Day #2.  We’ll see how long I can make it this time.  I swear, giving up sugar is like giving up heroin — at least for someone whose body reacts to sugar like mine does.

I made two New Year Promises for 2006: 1) get off the dope (sugar), and 2) write a book.  I’ve got four months left.  And I really want to complete these so I can do something fun and new in 2007.  Of course, I’ll have a newborn baby and a toddler in 2007 so a lot may not get accomplished that year, other than raising children. 🙂

(I’ve been categorizing my posts.  It may be weird to say this, but it’s actually fun to categorize your posts.  But I also love office supplies and lists, so I think that says a little bit about my personality.)

Lily and Cody
Christmas 2005 in Conroe, Texas

Sorry I’m only posting pictures at the moment — not writing much.  I was trying to put off learning how to sew until 2007, but the desire became too strong.  I bought my first pattern (an easy jammie pants pattern) and material.  And I pulled out the sewing machine.

I’m such a beginner that I don’t even know how to wind the bobbin or thread the sewing machine.  So I’m reading and doing and learning, and it’s fun!

So that’s what I have been doing.  Well, that and being with Matt and Lily.  So I’ve been busy.

Oh, and Sarah Q is going to sew with me.  It’s always more fun to learn a new hobby when you have someone to share the experience.  She’s making jammie pants as well.  I’ll post a picture of us in our new jammie pants when we’re done.

And I’ll be pregnant in the picture.  My baby belly is becoming quite visible now.  So it’ll be a pregnant picture as well. 🙂

Daddy and Lily playing with the new digital camera.
July 2006

I love these pictures. Lily’s body art just makes them that much better. 🙂

Lily and Daddy in the Back Garden
May 2006

On my computer’s desktop, there is always a picture and a quote.  My current quote is the one at the bottom of this page, and I thought I would post the picture that’s been on my desktop for awhile now.  It’s one of my favorite pictures of Matt and Lily.

Well, I’ve been wanting to host my own journal for almost a year now, and I finally set up all the files over the past two days.

It’ll be fun having a new journal.

Anyways, go to http://www.angelsdesk.com/ for the home of my new journal.

I’m so excited!

I’ve been in a creative and Halloween-y mood of late, so I did a major site redesign (with the help of my amazing husband, of course.)

I’ve also been in a “fresh start” mood.  I love beginnings.  The slate is clean.  So this will be my new journal as well.  So clean, so fresh, so new.  Sometimes it feels really good to not look behind you — to just gaze ahead at the promises and possibilities. 🙂

I can tell autumn is coming.  I always get restless when autumn and spring arrive.

Okay, another quote from Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myth.

This quote is from the same story about Indra. The priest of the Gods was telling Indra, “I am going to write you a book on the art of love so that you and your wife will know that in the wonderful mystery of the two that are one, Brahma is radiantly present also.”

The part that has been running through my mind is “in the wonderful mystery of the two that are one.” I’ve been thinking of Matt and I. I’ve always thought of us as two people who are connected. Now I’m thinking that we are one who has been separated into two parts. It’s interesting to think that way.

When your thoughts change, the world changes. I always get a strange sensation when that happens.

(BTW, Kelsey just posted a poem in her GJ that is along the same lines.)

I’m listening to Bill Moyers interview with Joseph Campbell: “The Power of Myth” in my car at the moment. And I now have a new favorite quote.

“You are manifestation of the mystery of Brahma in the field of time. This is a high privilege. Appreciate it. Honor it. And deal with life as though you were what you really are.”
Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

The whole story is quite lovely, and you can read it on this webpage if you would like.

I also found this passage quite interesting:

“There are a number of services that myths serve. The basic one is opening the world to the dimension of mystery. If you lose that, you don’t have a mythology — to realize the mystery that underlies all forms.

But then there comes the cosmological aspect of myth: seeing that mystery as manifest through all things, so that the universe becomes as it were a holy picture. You are always addressed to the transcendent mystery through that.

But then there is another function, and that is the sociological one of validating and maintaining a certain society. That is the side of the thing that has taken over in our world. Ethical laws. The laws of life in this society. All of Jehovah’s pages and pages and pages of what kind of clothes to wear, how to behave to each other, and all that — you see, in terms of the values of this particular society.

But then there is a fourth function of myth, and this is the one that I think today everyone must try to relate to. That’s the pedagogical function: how to live a human lifetime under any circumstances. Myth can tell you that.”
Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

I’ve really enjoyed the series so far.

My house is beautiful… absolutely beautiful. Deb and seven of my young cousins came into town for two days and cleaned the house and yard. It was a whirlwind of activity. It was two days of working, cleaning, cooking, eating, playing, laughing. I had so much fun. If cleaning was always that much fun, my house would be spotless.

And of course I have some observations, as always. Three, in fact. 🙂

1) Other teenagers are attracted to Kels, Lins, Sean, and Justy like moths to a flame. And after being with those four for two days, I know why. When you are with them, you’re happy. They are full of a warm, positive energy that comes from the inside. If you’re feeling depressed or lonely, it all fades away — like darkness exposed to a bright light — when you’re around the happy, positive, warm energy that these four people give off without even realizing it.

Of course people are attracted to them. Of course people want to be around them. They’re like a drug — you just feel content and happy when they are near. You forget all about war and crime and hate, and just enjoy their constant laughter.

How is this, you ask? Because they are happy. The whole time they were working, they were being silly and playing and laughing. When they were watching tv, they were giggling and talking. Even when they were just eating, they were having a good time, talking and joking and sharing.

I’m glad Mikey and Jojo are with them. It’s a bright and happy place to be, and they fit right in. And I can see why Deb likes having the teenagers in her house. It really brightens the house — makes it alive.

2) I’ve admired Kels for several years now. She is unique — I mean, really unique. She stands out from the crowd because she follows her dreams and tries new things. She doesn’t mind if she doesn’t blend into the background. I’ve always tried to blend into the background, not wanting to be noticed. After watching her grow into the person she is today, I realize that I don’t want to blend into the background anymore. It’s okay to stand out… and even fun.

And I’ve always been close to Sean and Justy. In particular, Justy. We’ve been with Justin since he was a small boy, and he’s always been close to our family.

Sean and Justy are always generally in a good mood and having a good time. Well, when they were here, they were working in the yard — working for hours in the Texas summer heat in the yard. They were down to just their shorts and sandals, their bodies covered in sweat, working…

… and playing and joking and singing! If that had been me, I would have been working and complaining, and then when I finally came in, acting the matyr for having to do such hard work. Not them. They genuinely had a good time the whole time they were out there.

And I want to be like that. I want to be happy and full of energy while I work — while I live — like Sean and Justin do.

The funny thing is, several years ago I didn’t think I had anything to learn from younger people. I thought, “I’m older, I’ve been through it, I know more.” And though I do have more knowledge, that doesn’t mean I know everything. And, after watching how my young cousins live, I certainly have things to learn — nebulous things about life and how to live. They are now the ones I look up to and the ones I want to try to emulate.

3) I also noticed that Lins has a real gift with young children. I have that gift although I never meant to and I don’t know how I came to have it — I didn’t even particularly want it. I would have rather had beauty or a lovely singing voice.

It truly is a gift though — a divine gift. And Lins will discover this as she goes throughout life. Because of this gift, wonderful things are going to happen to her. Wonderful things happened to me, and now I wouldn’t even think of trading that gift for beauty or a lovely singing voice.

Matt and I are trying to think of a way to thank Deb and the teenagers. What they did for us is amazing. Our house is truly beautiful now. I wander from room to room, and I feel so happy on the inside because it’s just so pretty. I think it’s the best birthday present I have ever got ever.

And though I didn’t write much about Deb (mainly because I was so amazed by the wonderful energy of the teenagers — all the laughter and joy that travels with them), she was just as incredible. What Deb brings with her is love. Deb loves people so much. She wants them to be happy, and she does whatever she can to make them happy.

There is a quote from Danielle Steele’s novel The Ghost that goes something like “Children reflect the sunlight of their parents.” There’s a reason Kels and Lins are such wonderful people and a real joy to be around: Bruce and Deb are wonderful people and a real joy to be around.

Well, it started on my birthday. I got two really lovely birthday cards, one from Donna and Dad and one from Tumama. Carla watched Lily so Matt could take me to the movies. And then Mom, the Pipkins, and Shelly’s household all called me on my birthday.

I guess that may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it meant a lot to me. I felt really loved on my birthday — I mean, really loved — because so many people had taken time out of their day just for my birthday.

So I was already feeling pretty darn special, and then Deb phones this morning and says, “Me, Kels, Lins, Mikey, and JoJo are all coming into town to clean your house for your birthday present. We’re going to mow and edge the lawn, and steamclean all the carpets. We’re going to clean the whole house.”

What a present!! Matt said, “What did we do to deserve a house cleaning?” And I said, “I don’t know. It’s so sweet of them to do this.” It really is a super present, so much so that I almost feel unworthy of it.

They decided to clean my house because of the recent journal entry I had posted about being depressed because my house was so filthy. Since I’ve written that entry, a mere three days ago, many things have happened. Matt and I bought a steam cleaner to clean the carpets and couches. I tidied up the whole house yesterday and started cooking again. Matt woke up this morning and said, “I have a lot of energy. I’m going to clean the garage today.” (He’s been working on it all morning, and it is looking much better.) And then Deb phones and says the Pipkin crew are coming down to do a complete cleaning of the house.

It all reminded me of one of Andrea Scher’s journal entries I had read a long time ago. I am a compulsive list maker. I write lists for everything. And, for a long time, I felt a little ashamed of all my lists, littered throughout my house and my life, because I thought they made me seem a bit freakish. “Why does she make so many lists? What a weirdo.” And then I read this journal entry, and for first the time, I was proud of my lists. She compared lists to prayers. A few quotes from the journal entry:

“These lists, the ones in the cigar box, are like my orders to the universe. The cigar box is my pnueumatic tube to heaven…. Maybe lists aren’t just lists to ourselves, but like placing our orders up to the universe. Maybe lists are like prayers.”

With everything that happened after the journal entry where I vented about the state of my house, I thought: you know, maybe journal entries are also like prayers. They are sometimes written with heartfelt emotion, practically bleeding onto the page. Pleading, begging, bargaining. “Please…” And, apparently, they don’t go un-heard.

You may see coincidence, but I’d rather see a conscious love. The world is much brighter, beautiful and more promising when viewed through that lens.

And, if some journal entries are prayers, then we must not forget the very important “Thank you” prayer. Thank you, universe, for listening to my cry in the night. Thank you, Deb, Kels, Lins, Mikey, JoJo and Matt, for helping me realize my dream of a clean house. Thank you everyone for thinking of me on my birthday.

Thank you.