I’m listening to the soundtrack of Crounching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. What beautiful music.

Anyways, I’ve decided to plan my life. Of course, I can’t plan too far ahead because things constantly change. But I have things I want to do, things that require focus and dedication. Not big things, like become president and rule the country, but little things, like create a really cool online store and write a book. I always thought “husband” would be a thing I had to do, like when you’re writing your to-do list. Clean the kitchen, go to the grocery store, spend quality time with husband so marriage doesn’t end in ruins. That kind of thing. At least, that’s what people have always told me. It turns out that he’s always there, like the walls or the cat. We spend almost all our time together and it’s not something I “do”. I don’t make time to spend with myself, I’m just always with myself. It’s the same with Matt.

So that frees up that slot on the to-do list.

What do I want to do……

Okay, so I’ve decided to not continue the story online. It’s difficult to post, and I miss out bits. If anyone would like to continue reading it, just email me. In the meantime, it will just be my mind’s meanderings.

There’s LOTS of online journals. They litter the web like porn sites. What’s up with that? We’re so un-unique. It’s very disturbing sometimes. I think all our thoughts and desires are the same, only our actions are different. It’s easy to sit on your ass and think and wish. The ones that are unique are the ones that do. That’s where the population gets divided out.

….and that’s so elitist and cynical to say. But, really, surf the web and look at all the journals. The similarities, and also the fact that there’s a million out there, is astounding.

This thought has no conclusion. I’m just feeling down on myself for not doing anything for the past two months except complain and play EverQuest.