I have leaf beetles!! They are totally chowing down on my tomato plants. One tomato plant is half eaten. The nearest I can identify them to is Bean Leaf Beetles but I don’t know why they would be eating tomato plants. I don’t know what to do about them. They are everywhere! *sigh* I’ll have to call a nursery and ask what to do. I saw a flea beetle too, but there was only one. There are about six leaf beetles out there. I shoo them away and they fly in the air for a moment before landing back on the tomato plants.

How does anyone ever grow vegetables in the state of Texas?! There are way too many insects. It’s such a battle.

I’m having a harder and harder time writing. I don’t know what the problem is. Have I hit a hard spot in the story? Is it me? It’s really difficult to write lately.

ugh… This is so annoying.

So I just came home from the airport. Matt has left at last minute notice to Italy for two weeks. Viviance Europe has gone bankrupt and a client is willing to pay him to finish up the project he was in the middle of.

The question of course is: how do I feel about all this?

And the answer all week has been: I don’t know.

I’ve discovered something else about marriage– you’re hardly ever alone. The voices in my head have been replaced with Matt’s external voice and presence.

How do I feel about all this?

I don’t know.

I miss the voices in my head. I guess I don’t need them anymore for companionship, but they were helpful in sorting out feelings and making decisions. I had myself to talk things through, my own sounding board.

Sometimes I just need to be alone. I’ll miss Matt while he’s in Italy, but I’m glad that I get this time alone to sort things out by myself.

I’m supposed to be doing dishes, but, well… you know how that goes. I’ll do the dishes after this entry.

I have an idea for a webpage. I’m going to call it: Life in the Garden. I’ve been thinking of taking pictures of the little bugs that live in my plants, and this morning there was the strangest, cutest little white furry bug. It was itty-bitty, smaller than a pinky nail, and it was covered in spikey white fur. So I ran in and got the camera and took a picture. Then I took a picture of the aphids and another ladybug larvae that has moved into the miniature roses. So now I have to post my pictures. And the pictures of my plants as they grow and bloom over the summer.

I got a beautiful (and much too expensive) green pot for the lavender lady I bought. Omigod it smells amazing! The only problem is you have to bury your face in the lavender to smell it. I wish the smell was strong enough to float around.

Well, now to do dishes…

Well, I certainly hope I’m walking the path and I’m just not aware of it because, to me, I don’t seem to be going forward very fast. Each day passes in a second and I’m no closer to my goals. It’s very frustrating. I feel like I’m missing some bit of knowledge. If only I knew something about project management or time management, then all my plans would slip into place effortlessly, like silk on ice.

The flip side to that thought is that I just procrastinate too much. Each day slips away in a barely remembered haze of nondescript, unimportant activities.

Of course, the truth lies somewhere between these two extremes. I’m not a complete procrastinator and I do have a set of organization skills. It’s just so slow…

Writers’ Group started up again, so I’m writing my Great American Novel again. Writing is hard! I feel like an idiot when I do it… a pretentious, untalented idiot. It’s never easy.

My ladybug larvae became a beautiful ladybug. And another spider moved into the roses. This one spins his webs on top of the leaves instead of underneath. For some reason, most the bugs live in the roses. There’s not nearly as much bug activity in the other plants.

The aphids are gone! In a mere two days, the spider and the ladybug larvae (although I think it was mainly the ladybug larvae) wiped out the population! But now the ladybug larvae is gone too because there is no more food source. That’s too bad because he was really cool to watch.

Fun with bugs. 🙂

Matt and I have decided to put off having a baby for another year. We have only been with each other for two years and we wanted a little more time with each other before having our focus switched to a child. But my biological clock is ticking very loudly! This means that I’ll be 35 when I get pregnant, and we want at least two kids. *sigh* I wish we had about 10 more years during our young life before we entered middle age.

But here’s The Plan: 1) Organize the house. We have too much junk. Or I should say I have too much junk. I need to go through it and throw stuff away, and box my memorabilia and toys up properly. 2) Organize the finances and start saving for a down payment for a house. 3) Buy a house. 4) Move and get settled. 5) Have a baby. I have a year to get my act together. We can’t really put off a baby more than a year. I’m just getting too old.

Aphids moved into my miniature roses and I was very upset! But then the cutest little spider and the cutest little ladybug larvae moved in and are feasting on the aphids. I watched the spider weave his web under one of the leaves and it was really cool! I don’t mind the aphids at all now because they’re feeding the bugs that I really like. I have another beetle-like bug that lives in my other flower pot. It has bulb flowers coming up but I don’t remember what they are. I bought them last year and I’m clueless what they are. But they’re very pretty and a beetle lives in them. Unfortunately a spider lives there too and the beetle is having a hard time with the webs. He keeps getting his little feet all gunked up in web stuff. I think he’ll eventually become spider food which is too bad because he’s very cute.

I’m thinking of making a web page with pictures of all the bugs that live in my garden. They are a lot of fun to watch– as much fun as the flowers. 🙂