I ate too much. Ugh.

So, we have about one month of money left in the bank. I go back and forth between being very upset and thinking that this isn’t such a bad thing. Matt and I have very big plans, and these big plans require better money management. We’re not very good at managing our money. When you don’t have very much, you have to manage it well. :-)) Either that or pay all your bills late. I’ve been paying bills on time for several years now and have good credit. I don’t think I’ll change those habits now.

Matt had a job interview today, but we don’t think it went very well. Oh well. We’ll keep trying.

I’ve started listening to Japanese radio again. It helps to learn the language to hear it spoken. I only understand about 5% of what they say, but it’s a beginning. And it definitely helps with pronunciation. And poor Matt. He’s such a sweetie. He sits next to me on his computer while we both listen to Japanese gibberish coming out of my computer. What a great husband.

Posting my journal on the web is like dancing naked in the park at night.

I’m supposed to be working on my Great American Novel right now. I keep putting it off. I wonder if I’ll ever be a published author. Or a mom. Of course, I never thought I would be a wife and that has happened. I suppose it’s the same thing. Patience. Belief. Work.

So I’ve been playing a lot of EverQuest lately. Things are uncertain for Matt and I right now because neither of us has jobs. And the house is a Mess (that would be with a capital “M”), so I checked out.

We all have ways of avoiding the real world. The easiest one to point to is drugs and alcohol. Well, my drug of choice is EverQuest.

But life keeps going along with or without you. Time goes by, bills come due, the garden and house become more and more unkempt, and your subconscious nags and nags at you until you can’t ignore it any longer.

That’s where I am now. I’ve spent about a week and a half in a virtual world, raising my head long enough each day to feed the dogs and fish and do any other unavoidable tasks. But now, a week and a half later, when I look around, things are in worse shape than they were.

But isn’t that the very nature of avoidance? It doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t even put anything on hold because things continue forward whether you are there or not. It just makes you feel better for a very brief while until you look around and feel even worse.

But such is human nature. We all do it, some more so than others.

I have a mess to clean up now. If you’ll excuse me….