I don’t want to live in Texas anymore. I have lived in a semi-arid climate on the edge of a desert long enough. No more 108 degrees faranheit. No more drought. No more short, stubby trees that struggle for life without water or soil. No more brown, prickly grass.
I want rain and lush greenery. I want thick, dark soil and trees that reach up into the sky. I want flowers and rivers. I want winter.
I’m ready to move. But we can’t move yet. Matt and I are both in the middle of projects. He is very involved with his work. He’s written the software and he wants to see it become successful. And he really likes his boss and co-workers. I’ve discovered that I can get my CPA from a course they offer here at the community college. But when these projects are finished, I am so ready to move.
Did I mention I want rain and plants and cold? *sigh* I really am tired of the heat.
Ah, a quiet moment. Silence. Matt has taken the munchkin to Fry’s to get a new DVD drive for my computer and some blank DVDs.
Quiet.
I’ve been having a lively discussion on one of my mailing lists, and I have been wanting to sort out my thoughts regarding the discussion for awhile. But life doesn’t allow for many breaks with a nine-month-old in the house.
Ah, quiet.
We got back from England last night — what a loooong journey that is. And the baby was fantastic! That journey is hard on an adult, and she did very well.
I cried when we left. I hated separating Lily from Matt’s parents. We’re talking about moving to England now to be closer to Matt’s family, but that won’t happen for at least five years. It was very sad.
I’ve been up since 3:30am — jet lag. I’m catching up on email and such. Still a bit tired though. That was a really long journey.
Recently, I’m having a hard time going to bed early. I was supposed to be in bed hours ago. My baby did go to bed hours ago.
I wonder why I’m having insomnia.
Matt, the baby, and the dogs are asleep. Only the cat and I are roaming around. I’m very sleepy though. Soon, only the cat will be awake.
Good night.
Matt was sad because he said I mentioned everybody but him in my list of fifty facts. So here is my Matt addendum:
1. Matt is one of the three kindest men I have ever met. The other two being Gene and my stepfather Paul.
2. When Matt holds Lily, they look very cute together.
3. Lily adores Matt.
4. Matt loves his job. He complains about his job sometimes, but the truth is, even when he’s complaining, he loves the work, his boss, and all the responsibility that has been given him.
5. Matt takes exceptionally good care of me and Lily.
6. Matt is just as strung out on the ‘crack as I am.
7. I love Matt. And I don’t like to see him sad.
Kisses to my husband.
I stole this from Kelsey who stole it from Vivi who stole it from Sara…
Make a list of 50 random facts about yourself just for the hell of it:
1. My house is very messy, and it makes me sad.
2. Even though my house is very messy and it makes me sad, I don’t clean it up because I hate cleaning and I’m tired from watching the baby all day long.
3. I wish I had more energy.
4. I’m actively working to have more energy (get more sleep, eat better, exercise, etc).
5. I love my baby more than I could ever describe in words.
6. Even though I love my baby intensely, she can still annoy me.
7. But she only annoys me some of the time. Most of the time she is a living treasure.
8. I love to write.
9. But I have crippling insecurities (to use a Marian Keyes quote) about my writing. I can’t tell if it’s shite or not.
10. I try to tell myself not to worry about whether I’m shite or not because I love it so much — I should just write for the love of writing.
11. I discovered the word “shite” from Matt. I learned some other English cuss words like “bugger” and “bollocks,” but “shite” is the only one I use on occasion.
12. Did I mention I totally adore my baby?
13. Matt and I registered woodings.name although we haven’t put up a website yet. We registered it a couple of weeks ago.
14. I can’t decide whether to register angelwoodings.com or not. It seems fun and vain at the same time.
15. All kids love my small dog, Niko… all kids. He is cute, cuddly, soft, and very non-threatening — like a live teddy bear.
16. Almost all kids are afraid of my large German Shepherd, Lani. She has a huge mouth and large, long, white teeth, and she jumps on kids and tries to lick their faces. She wouldn’t ever hurt them though. She just looks intimidating.
17. When my first dog, Savannah, died, I got a German Shepherd because dogs make me feel safe. We had Niko, but he wasn’t at all intimidating or aggressive. Savannah was the guard dog. So we got Lani and raised her to be a sweetheart. I didn’t want a mean dog — I just wanted a dog who looked mean. That usually does the trick. And that’s exactly what Lani is.
18. I named my dog Savannah after the porn-star Savannah who I thought was very pretty. It was only later that I found out that the porn star Savannah was dumb as dirt. I should have known.
19. Only a few people know my dog was named after a porn star. I tell most people I named her after the savannah in Africa because she had golden hair, the same color as the savannah.
20. I don’t enjoy porn like I once did.
21. Even though I once enjoyed porn, the women in the porn industry always made me sad. They seemed so lost and unhappy. I think that’s why I eventually moved away from porn. The women were too sad and just… lost.
22. I really don’t like my first boyfriend, Mark, at all. Which is weird. How can I think so little of him now and yet have been so completely in love with him then?
23. Gene and I are connected in some way. And even though I don’t see him now, that connection will never dissolve. Nor would I want it to. I love him.
24. I’m not in love with Rick anymore. I was in love with him for years. And then, when Matt came along, it went away. I still think of him very fondly though and cherish our memories together.
25. My mom is tormented by her own thoughts. Not all of the time, just some of the time.
26. My sister Carla is tormented as well.
27. I can’t help my mom and Carla. I’ve tried to talk to them — to tell them they don’t have to think that way. But it doesn’t help. They will have to find their own way out.
28. Of all my cousins, I’m closest to Justin, Kelsey, and Lindsey.
29. I feel guilty for not being close to my cousins, Chloe and Trevor. But I just don’t have as much in common with Jim and Theresa (their parents), so I don’t spend as much time at their house.
30. I feel guilty for not visiting Jim and Theresa more.
31. I don’t feel guilty about not knowing my cousin Casey as well because he lives too far away for me to develop a relationship with him.
32. I worry about brown recluse spiders and my baby.
33. Even though I kill brown recluses, it still makes me sad. I don’t like killing spiders.
34. I don’t kill snakes either unless they’re poisonous. I like snakes and spiders a lot.
35. Even though I like snakes and spiders, I won’t pick them up because they scare me. Go figure.
36. We’re going to England in September.
37. I hate the journey to England. It takes about twenty hours from our doorstep in Round Rock to arriving at Matt’s parents’ doorstep in Lincoln.
38. I love trees.
39. I love lakes and rivers (fresh water) more than the ocean.
40. When my baby cries, it makes me physically hurt.
41. I loved being pregnant. It was a lot of fun having a little baby inside of me.
42. Even though I think most of the Western books on feng shui don’t really understand or translate feng shui well at all, I think they are still full of good suggestions (and hokey suggestions as well).
43. I love computers, logic, numbers, spreadsheets, and foreign languages.
44. Lily squeals and laughs at Lani, and I wonder what Lani makes of that.
45. I named Lani after Savannah. The people we got Lani from asked us to name her with an “L” name, following a German tradition for naming dogs. I chose Lani because it means “heaven” in Hawaiian. Savannah had just died.
46. Even though I have a degree in photojournalism, I have never had a job in that field.
47. I’m very happy that I don’t have to go to graduate school to get the courses I need to sit for the CPA exam. Graduate school is a lot of work. Community college is easy. 😉
48. I don’t like Austin because it is in a semi-arid climate, but I really like Austin because of the attitude and wackiness of the city.
49. I have lived in Austin for 19 years. I moved here when I was 18-years-old to go to college.
50. This was fun. 🙂
Oh, one more thing: I finally reached a meditative state today. It was very cool and fun. It feels like your body goes to sleep but your mind is still awake. It was lots of fun. 🙂
I feel like such a New Age nutter though, doing all these things. The next thing you know, I’ll be wearing crystals and talking about when the Angels in UFOs are coming down to take us all back to our original planet.
*sigh* I wonder when I’ll get past my psychological hang-ups. Growing up with hard-core engineers and atheists does have its problems. Sure, I wasn’t indoctrinated into a single religion, but I was indoctrinated outside of all spirituality.
Kisses to my mom though. Sure, she’s one wacky atheist, but I totally adore her. And just like religion has things to teach us, atheism does as well.