I met a German lady today who has lived in Texas for the past 10 years. She said she considered herself to be a true Texan when she knew where “over yonder” was. Hehe. :-)) She said that not only does she now know where “over yonder” is, but that she actually has to park there sometimes.

I hate my new job. I think it was because I was a spoiled housewife before and now I have to work. Of course, Matt hates it too and he isn’t an ex-spoiled housewife. Maybe it is the mindless tedium of building computers on an assembly line hour after hour, day after day. I wonder how long we will have to do this.

And I never have enough time to do things anymore. I have emails to write! I have a Great American Novel to write! I have a house to clean!

Someone ordered off our webpage the other day. It was our very first order! Very exciting.

Matt is waiting for me…. Not enough time…. I have a journal to update….

I haven’t updated this since last year! Hehe. :-)) That joke is made a million times every new year.

Matt is playing Grand Theft Auto and I’m having a hard time concentrating on this entry. I keep leaning over to watch him play and completely forgetting that I’m writing a journal entry. He’s doing the Sayonara Salvatore mission and keeps getting Wasted! You know, I could be wrong, but I think Maria and Asuka have a thing going. *wink*

Joanna (or Jarna of the Jungle) visited us for a couple of weeks. It was really nice to have company. I think I like living with lots of people. And we got her hooked on Grand Theft Auto. Bad Woodings! Bad bad Woodings!

We also started “working for the Man!” — that man being Michael Dell. We work in the Dell manufacturing plant building computers for $9.35/hour. Our requirement is 13 computers per hour. Matt is up to 12 computers/hour and I can do 9 computers/hour. Our fingertips, feet, and backs hurt after shift. And we wear steel-toed shoes and name badges. I haven’t heard anyone say “Badges?! We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!” yet.

Well, this is a totally random update. But that’s what happens when you keep getting distracted (mid-sentence, mind you) to watch your husband play GTA.

I think I’ll give up on the update. Obviously GTA is much more important at the moment. Toodles.

So a person emailed me today asking for more chapters of the novel!!! Can you believe it?! How exciting!

I know it doesn’t seem like much– one person across the vastness of the internet emails me and I get this giddy? But it is important to me. Writing is hard. To quote Marian Keyes: “Another question that I’m often asked is if there’s any downside to being a writer. Three words: the crippling insecurity.” Amen, sister. A person who I don’t know saying to me “I like it” is very very helpful and motivating. :-))

Matt just said the breakfast is ready. Later.

I’m so tired. It’s 12:30am and I need to go to bed.

But I wanted to update this real quick. So, a couple of people emailed me today with links to add to the manga translations links page. One fellow sent me a couple of links to Hanazakari no Kimitachi E translations. While looking at the sites to verify the translations, I read about the manga. It seems like just the kind of manga that I really like. So then I went surfing for scanlations. I found chapters 2 thru 5. Well, that just wouldn’t do. I needed to start with Chapter 1. So I read a post on the HanaKimi mailing list that you could find the first 18 chapters on #MangaProject on DALnet.

Well, I had heard about people downloading anime, manga, and mp3s from IRC. I haven’t played with IRC in 5 years, and I didn’t find it very enjoyable “back in the day.” I’m not much of an internet chatter.

But this is manga we’re talking about. Sacrifices have to be made.

So I downloaded mIRC, wrestled with the Identd thingie, and fell into the deep end. I flailed around, struggling to get my head above water. Leeching… fserves… !list… @find…. Aahhhhh!!!!!

Where is this strange place I have landed?! I see some familiar landmarks but mostly things are foreign.

To quote Murtaugh: “I’m too old for this shit.”

I have to learn the rules all over again every five years. Future shock in all its glory. I read some IRC help pages, but this will take some research. I’ll continue the researching tomorrow.

This sounds like the end of the adventure, doesn’t it? Well, I decided to wade deeper into the anime/manga waters of the internet. While reading one of the several FAQs written in cryptic IRC geek language, I ran across a link to anime radio stations on Live365. I had never heard of Live365. Apparently, anyone can start their own little internet radio station. It is very very cool.

I love the internet.

I ate too much. Ugh.

So, we have about one month of money left in the bank. I go back and forth between being very upset and thinking that this isn’t such a bad thing. Matt and I have very big plans, and these big plans require better money management. We’re not very good at managing our money. When you don’t have very much, you have to manage it well. :-)) Either that or pay all your bills late. I’ve been paying bills on time for several years now and have good credit. I don’t think I’ll change those habits now.

Matt had a job interview today, but we don’t think it went very well. Oh well. We’ll keep trying.

I’ve started listening to Japanese radio again. It helps to learn the language to hear it spoken. I only understand about 5% of what they say, but it’s a beginning. And it definitely helps with pronunciation. And poor Matt. He’s such a sweetie. He sits next to me on his computer while we both listen to Japanese gibberish coming out of my computer. What a great husband.

Posting my journal on the web is like dancing naked in the park at night.

I’m supposed to be working on my Great American Novel right now. I keep putting it off. I wonder if I’ll ever be a published author. Or a mom. Of course, I never thought I would be a wife and that has happened. I suppose it’s the same thing. Patience. Belief. Work.

So I’ve been playing a lot of EverQuest lately. Things are uncertain for Matt and I right now because neither of us has jobs. And the house is a Mess (that would be with a capital “M”), so I checked out.

We all have ways of avoiding the real world. The easiest one to point to is drugs and alcohol. Well, my drug of choice is EverQuest.

But life keeps going along with or without you. Time goes by, bills come due, the garden and house become more and more unkempt, and your subconscious nags and nags at you until you can’t ignore it any longer.

That’s where I am now. I’ve spent about a week and a half in a virtual world, raising my head long enough each day to feed the dogs and fish and do any other unavoidable tasks. But now, a week and a half later, when I look around, things are in worse shape than they were.

But isn’t that the very nature of avoidance? It doesn’t solve anything. It doesn’t even put anything on hold because things continue forward whether you are there or not. It just makes you feel better for a very brief while until you look around and feel even worse.

But such is human nature. We all do it, some more so than others.

I have a mess to clean up now. If you’ll excuse me….

Hmmm… another night of insomnia. Maybe it’s not insomnia– maybe by this point I have shifted my internal clock and sleep schedule by a few hours.

Who are blogs and online journals written for? Who is the audience? Is it like a prayer to God spoken aloud to no one? “Dear Lord, please notice me.” It’s public and yet not so because no one sees it buried in the deep clutter of the internet.

Quiet. shhhhhh…. I’m the one waltzing on the head of a pin… as tiny as dew on a spiderweb.

I’m feeling pretty good tonight… almost unique and special and different. Tonight, I don’t feel like one among the masses; I actually feel like I stand out, even if it’s only to myself.

Go figure.

I really need to get some sleep. I have so much to do tomorrow. Nitey nite.

So I haven’t done the bills in a month and a half! A month and a half! I’ve never let them go that long. I don’t know why I’m being such an amazing huge punk. Now it will take me several hours to clean up the mess I’ve allowed to develop. It won’t be a pretty sight.

I’ve actually been slacking off a lot. But Ben, Matt’s brother, is visiting from England, so Matt and I have both been huge slackers for the last two weeks. But I think that’s acceptable. Ben is visiting all the way from England, and Matt hasn’t seen his family at all in the last year. The last time he saw any of his family was last Christmas. So I’m actually not down on myself for being a complete slacker these last couple of weeks.

The Italians are proposing another contract that would last a couple of months. That’s made me feel a little better. I didn’t think the last contract would come through, and, in truth, it did take a month for them to sign and start working. But they did give him a contract like they said, so I’m more hopeful this time that he will actually get a contract.

However the wrestling match to get paid continues. We were supposed to be paid the 15th of this month, and we haven’t been… not even an email. I get so tired of doing this month after month. But with a new contract, that will give us a little more breathing room to find Matt a permanent position. But it may take a month or so for the new contract to be finalized and signed.

…. and we don’t have enough money for our taxes in April. *sigh* I need to get off my ass and get a job. I need to accept that Little Princess Playtime is over now and the real world is knocking at the door.

But other than worries about money, things have been good. I’m feeling a lot more positive… maybe it’s the change in the weather. We’ve been having lovely cool Texas October days. That will make anyone happy. And we had a lot of fun with Ben. :-))